I Don’t Say “I Love You”

If you were to tell me you loved me, odds are I wouldn’t say it back. And if I did, I was squirming a little on the inside as I said it.

It isn’t that I don’t love you.

I probably do.

I mean, if you’re saying it to me, I’m assuming we have some sort of connection.

But I don’t love you the same way someone loves their favorite cozy blanket.

I don’t love you the way people love filet mignion or chocolate chip cookies.

I don’t love you the way teenage girls loved Justin Bieber back in 2012.

I don’t say “I love you” to people not because I don’t care about them, but because it seems a disservice to the quality of love we share.

We live in a world where we “love” things that don’t deserve anything more than a relative likeness on our part. We love clothes, cars, sports- material things; we love celebrities, athletes, politicians- people we have never met and don’t know. Then in the same breath we turn and apply that love to the people who should mean the most to us: friends who have laughed through life with us and family who has been a rock to return to.

How is it possible to love a thing or someone you don’t even know as intensely as a person who is actively involved in your life?

So, yeah, I don’t say “I love you”.

It is no longer a legitimate enough phrase to express how much someone means to me; how grateful I am that they are in my life; how I genuinely concerned I am for their happiness and well-being.

I don’t love you like pizza.

I don’t love you like Pentatonix.

Heck, I don’t even love you like Netflix.

The people who matter to me matter so much that their value cannot be contained in a word. My affection for them must span over a lifetime or less of being there when they need me, asking how they’re day is, or even just smiling in their direction.

I shouldn’t have to describe it with an outdated, devalued description, because my actions should show their importance 24/7.

So, no, I don’t love you.

I value you.

More than Dr Pepper; more than Brian d’Arcy James; more than the cast album of “Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812”; more than the word “love” can adequately express.

You matter to me.

And I hope I show you that every single day.


There you go. Now you know what I know.

Do with it what you will.


5 thoughts on “I Don’t Say “I Love You”

  1. Charlee says:

    The title of this post caught my attention and I loved reading it! It’s true that we do use “love” really loosely…it doesn’t have as strong of a meaning anymore. I really loved the point you made. We need to show the special people in our lives that we love them through actions.


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